How to Deal with a Narcissistic Coworker: 9 Practical Tips

Do you have a coworker who is always arrogant, selfish, and manipulative? Do they constantly belittle, criticize, or take credit for your work? Do they make your work life miserable, stressful, or toxic?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you are dealing with a narcissist. A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. They often exploit others for their own gain and have no regard for their feelings or needs.

Narcissism is a personality disorder that affects about 6% of the population. It can have a negative impact on the workplace, as narcissists tend to create conflict, lower morale, and reduce productivity. They can also cause emotional distress and psychological harm to their coworkers, especially those who are sensitive, empathetic, or assertive.

So how can you deal with a narcissistic coworker effectively? In this article, we will provide you with 9 practical tips that will help you cope with their behavior and protect yourself from their abuse.

Tip 1: Stay Calm and Don’t Take Things Personally

One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a narcissist is to stay calm and don’t take things personally. A narcissist will try to provoke, insult, or criticize you in order to get a reaction from you. They want to make you feel angry, hurt, or insecure, so they can feel superior and powerful.

Don’t fall for their trap. Don’t let them get under your skin. Don’t let them affect your mood or self-esteem. Remember that their behavior is not about you, but about them. They are projecting their own insecurities and flaws onto you. They are trying to mask their own inadequacies and weaknesses by putting you down.

The best way to deal with their attacks is to ignore them or respond calmly and rationally. Don’t show any emotion or give them any attention. Don’t let them see that they have hurt you or bothered you. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have control over you.

Some strategies to help you stay calm and not take things personally are:

• Practice breathing exercises or meditation to relax your mind and body
• Repeat positive affirmations or mantras to boost your confidence and self-worth
• Seek support from your friends, family, or therapist who can validate your feelings and offer you comfort
• Read this article on How to Stay Positive During Your Worst Days for more tips on how to cope with negativity

Tip 2: Get Everything in Writing

Another important thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to get everything in writing. A narcissist will lie, manipulate, or take credit for your work in order to advance their own agenda and reputation. They will also deny what they said or did, or blame you for their mistakes or failures.

Don’t let them get away with their dishonesty and deception. Don’t rely on their words or promises. Don’t trust their memory or judgment. Document everything that happens between you and them. Keep copies of all communications and records that involve them.

Some strategies to help you get everything in writing are:

• Use email, memos, or contracts as the main form of communication with them
• Confirm any verbal agreements or instructions in writing
• Keep track of your tasks, deadlines, achievements, and feedback
• Save any evidence that proves your work or contribution
• Read this article on "How to Document Workplace Bullying" for more advice on how to protect yourself from harassment

Tip 3: Avoid Fighting or Arguing with Them

A third thing to avoid when dealing with a narcissist is fighting or arguing with them. A narcissist will use various tactics to avoid responsibility and blame others for their actions. They will use gaslighting, deflection, projection, or other forms of manipulation to make you doubt yourself or feel guilty.

Don’t waste your time and energy trying to reason with them or prove them wrong. Don’t let them drag you into their drama or chaos. Don’t let them turn you into the bad guy or the victim. You will never win an argument with a narcissist, because they will never admit their faults or apologize for their behavior.

The best way to deal with their manipulation is to avoid it or deflect it. Don’t engage in their games or schemes. Don’t respond to their accusations or insults. Don’t try to change them or fix them. Just focus on the facts and the solutions, and don’t let them distract you from your goals.

Some strategies to help you avoid fighting or arguing with them are:

• Ignore their provocations or change the subject
• Set boundaries and limits on what you will tolerate from them
• Use the gray rock method, which means being boring and unresponsive to their attempts to get a reaction from you

Tip 4: Focus on Your Own Work and Goals

A fourth thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to focus on your own work and goals rather than the narcissist’s. A narcissist will try to distract, sabotage, or compete with you in order to undermine your performance and success. They will also try to make you feel inferior, insecure, or jealous of their achievements.

Don’t let them derail you from your path or diminish your value. Don’t compare yourself to them or let them influence your decisions. Don’t let them steal your thunder or take credit for your work. Remember that you have your own strengths, skills, and talents that make you unique and valuable.

The best way to deal with their interference is to focus on your own work and goals rather than theirs. Don’t let them distract you from your priorities or divert you from your plans. Don’t let them sabotage your efforts or ruin your results. Just concentrate on doing your best and achieving your objectives.

Some strategies to help you focus on your own work and goals are:

• Prioritize your tasks and manage your time effectively
• Track your progress and measure your outcomes
• Celebrate your achievements and reward yourself
• Read this article on "How to Answer “Tell me about yourself” in a Job Interview" for more tips on how to showcase your skills and accomplishments

Tip 5: Recruit Allies and Seek Support

A fifth thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to recruit allies and seek support. A narcissist will try to isolate, intimidate, or manipulate you in order to control you and make you feel alone. They will also try to turn others against you or make you look bad in front of them.

Don’t let them isolate you or make you feel helpless. Don’t let them intimidate you or make you feel afraid. Don’t let them manipulate you or make you feel guilty. Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who care about you and support you.

The best way to deal with their isolation is to recruit allies and seek support. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others who can help you or understand you. Don’t be ashamed to ask for advice or assistance. Don’t be silent about what you are going through or how you feel.

Some strategies to help you recruit allies and seek support are:

• Build rapport with other coworkers, managers, or HR who can witness, intervene, or resolve the situation
• Join a support group, online forum, or chat room where you can share your experiences and feelings with other survivors of narcissistic abuse
• Seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or coach who can help you heal from the trauma and empower you to cope
• Read this article on "How to Find Support Groups for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors" for more information on how to connect with others who understand what you are going through

Tip 6: Speak to Their Values and Interests

A sixth thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to speak to their values and interests rather than yours. A narcissist will have different values and interests than you, such as power, status, or recognition. They will not care about your needs, feelings, or opinions. They will only care about what benefits them or makes them look good.

Don’t expect them to empathize with you or respect you. Don’t try to appeal to their logic or morality. Don’t try to convince them or persuade them. You will only frustrate yourself and waste your time. Instead, try to understand what motivates them and what they want.

The best way to deal with their indifference is to speak to their values and interests rather than yours. Don’t focus on what matters to you or what is fair or right. Focus on what matters to them or what is beneficial or flattering for them. Show them how your goals align with theirs or how your actions benefit them.

Some strategies to help you speak to their values and interests are:

• Use flattery, praise, or incentives to get their cooperation or compliance
• Appeal to their ego or vanity by making them feel important, special, or superior
• Show them how your work or contribution enhances their reputation or performance

Tip 7: Have a Witness for Every Interaction

A seventh thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to have a witness for every interaction. A narcissist will twist the truth, deny what they said or did, or accuse you of something you didn’t do. They will also try to make you look bad in front of others or damage your reputation.

Don’t let them get away with their lies and false accusations. Don’t let them ruin your credibility or trustworthiness. Don’t let them make you look like the problem or the enemy. Make sure that you have someone who can back you up or confirm your version of events.

The best way to deal with their distortion is to have a witness for every interaction. Don’t meet with them alone or in private. Don’t rely on their word or memory. Have someone else who can witness, record, or verify what happened between you and them.

Some strategies to help you have a witness for every interaction are:

• Invite another coworker, manager, or HR representative to join you in any meeting or conversation with them

• Record the conversation with their consent or use a voice recorder app on your phone

• Send a follow-up email or message to summarize what was discussed or agreed upon and ask for their confirmation

• Read this article on "How to Deal with False Accusations at Work" for more tips on how to defend yourself from unfair allegations

Tip 8: Know When to Walk Away

An eighth thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to know when to walk away. A narcissist will make your work life unbearable, stressful, or toxic. They will also make you feel unhappy, exhausted, or depressed. They will not change their behavior or respect your boundaries.

Don’t let them destroy your health or happiness. Don’t let them drain your energy or motivation. Don’t let them keep you from reaching your potential or fulfilling your dreams. Know when enough is enough and when it’s time to walk away from them.
The best way to deal with their toxicity is to know when to walk away. Don’t stay in a situation that is harmful to you physically, mentally, or emotionally. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve or want. Assess your options, weigh the pros and cons, and make the best decision for yourself.

Some strategies to help you know when to walk away are:

• Evaluate your current situation and determine if it’s worth staying or leaving

• Consider the impact of staying or leaving on your career, finances, relationships, and well-being

• Consult a lawyer, counselor, or coach who can help you plan your exit strategy and support you through the process

• Read this article on "How to Hire Someone That Fits Your Needs on Websites Like Fiverr" for more tips on how to outsource some of your work tasks

Tip 9: Take Care of Yourself

A ninth thing to do when dealing with a narcissist is to take care of yourself. A narcissist will affect your physical, mental, and emotional health. They will also affect your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. They will not care about your needs, feelings, or well-being.

Don’t let them neglect or abuse you. Don’t let them make you feel unworthy or unlovable. Don’t let them make you forget who you are or what you want. Remember that you are important and valuable and that you deserve to be happy and healthy.

The best way to deal with their neglect is to take care of yourself. Don’t put yourself last or sacrifice yourself for them. Don’t ignore your needs, feelings, or desires. Practice self-care, set healthy boundaries, and seek therapy if needed.

Some strategies to help you take care of yourself are:

• Practice self-care activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul, such as eating well, sleeping well, exercising regularly, meditating daily, etc.

• Set healthy boundaries that protect your time, space, energy, and resources from being exploited by them
• Seek therapy from a qualified professional who can help you heal from the trauma and empower you to cope

FAQs

Here are some frequently asked questions based on people also ask for the keyword “how to deal with a narcissistic coworker”.

How do you outsmart a narcissist at work?

To outsmart a narcissist at work, you need to be smart, strategic, and assertive. You need to know how they think and act and use that knowledge to your advantage. Here are some ways to outsmart a narcissist at work:

• Don’t take their bait or fall for their traps

• Don’t give them any information or feedback that they can use against you

• Don’t let them intimidate or manipulate you

• Don’t let them isolate or alienate you

• Don’t let them take credit for your work or achievements

• Don’t let them distract you from your goals or priorities

• Don’t let them affect your mood or self-esteem

How do you tell if your coworker is a narcissist?

To tell if your coworker is a narcissist, you need to look for some signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. Here are some signs that your coworker is a narcissist:

• They are arrogant, self-centered, and entitled

• They lack empathy and compassion for others

• They crave admiration and validation from others

• They exploit others for their own gain or benefit

• They lie, manipulate, or deceive others

• They blame others for their mistakes or failures

• They are envious of others or think that others are envious of them

• They are overly sensitive to criticism or rejection

• They have a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority

How do you deal with a narcissistic boss?

To deal with a narcissistic boss, you need to be careful, cautious, and diplomatic. You need to know how to communicate with them effectively and how to handle their behavior professionally. Here are some ways to deal with a narcissistic boss:

• Be respectful and polite, but not submissive or obsequious

• Be confident and competent, but not arrogant or competitive

• Be cooperative and supportive, but not dependent or needy

• Be honest and reliable, but not naive or gullible

• Be flexible and adaptable, but not passive or compliant

• Be proactive and creative, but not rebellious or disruptive

How do you protect yourself from a narcissist at work?

To protect yourself from a narcissist at work, you need to be aware, prepared, and empowered. You need to know how to recognize, avoid, and confront their behavior effectively. Here are some ways to protect yourself from a narcissist at work:

• Recognize their behavior and don’t take it personally

• Avoid their behavior and don’t engage in their games or schemes

• Confront their behavior and don’t let them get away with their lies or false accusations

• Document their behavior and don’t rely on their words or promises
• Report their behavior and don’t suffer in silence or isolation

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissistic coworker can be challenging, stressful, and frustrating. However, you don’t have to let them ruin your work life or your well-being. By following the 9 practical tips in this article, you can cope with their behavior and protect yourself from their abuse. You can also improve your communication, performance, and relationships at work. Remember that you are not alone and that you deserve to be happy and healthy. We hope that this article has helped you learn how to deal with a narcissistic coworker effectively. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to share them below. 😊

Key Takeaways

• Stay calm and don’t take things personally
• Get everything in writing
• Avoid fighting or arguing with them
• Focus on your own work and goals
• Recruit allies and seek support
• Speak to their values and interests
• Have a witness for every interaction
• Know when to walk away
• Take care of yourself